Every year on my birthday I draw myself, this becoming a less original feat as I’ve slowly morphed into a self portrait artist. However, it’s a tradition I’m unwilling to break, so, every year on my birthday I specifically draw myself for my birthday. This can mean different things, sometimes I’ll incorporate birthday things such as balloons, cake, candles, or banners, or sometimes (once so far) it’s just a self portrait that I specifically post on my birthday.
I started this tradition at fifteen turning sixteen as a way to track my progress. I felt stuck and wanted concrete proof that I was actually improving in some shape or form. This was back when I maybe drew myself once in a blue moon if ever, so it was a fun way to challenge myself as well. Then, as I became a self portrait artist, it became a fun way for me to see my style change as I continued to improve.
At sixteen I had just started taking art seriously, I had really only picked up art in December of 2019. I have always loved art classes and signed up for every one in my school’s curriculum. But I didn’t really ever do it for fun, or just because, or for anything other than a grade. My style back then was extremely different from anything I make now. I did line art, I had no idea what rendering was (or even light sources for that matter), composition was an unknown concept- I don’t even think I knew how to use my drawing software correctly yet. Scratch that, I absolutely didn’t know how to use my drawing software correctly yet, but that’s all part of the process and I remember having a lot of fun making this drawing.
At seventeen I had an idea of what I was doing, a small idea, but still, an idea. I didn’t know what composition was anymore this year than last year- I genuinely thought composition meant drawing shapes. Shoutout to all completely self taught artists that just don’t look anything up ever. This year I had an idea of where I wanted my art to go. I still wasn’t drawing myself outside of this yearly tradition, and this was the year I had begun trying to draw more anatomically correct figures rather than super stylized ones. Still sticking with line art, but going a lot lighter with the colors. I think seventeen was where my scribbling in lines as a “background” started. Not much to say about this year, it was kind of done as an after thought.
At eighteen my style really developed and quickly at that. I was drawing consistently and constantly trying to one up myself every time. This year was the year I had failed to get into AP art, so with every art project I had in high school I was trying to be better and better and better. In my art class we voted with colored cards: on what art each student liked the best, thought was the most creative, what fit the project prompt best, etc, etc. I started judging my art on how many cards I got. Not a super healthy way to get better at art but it did make me improve fast if I wanted that quick burst of serotonin when I would get every single card in the class. This was also the year I realized I had more fun doing a line-less style and leaning more towards realism, developing a more painterly style. Taking the time to paint out my pieces also helped me understand shape and form a whole lot better than my line art style ever did. All in all, an extremely productive year and the year my current style took form.
Nineteen was a weird year. I had started falling out of love with digital art but wasn’t quite realizing it yet. My hand was hurting more and more with every piece I forced myself through, and I had no ideas for this year. I didn’t feel like drawing my face for this one, that was the only “idea” I was running with. I had made about three sketches for this drawing, each one completely different. One of them I turned into a separate hair study, the other I completely scrapped, and the third I modified into my birthday piece. I hadn’t felt like drawing when I made this but I didn’t want to not make something that year. I had seen such a tremendous improvement from seventeen to eighteen and wanted to see that kind of improvement again. What I didn’t understand then, was that improvement isn’t going to be a straight line up, there will be some years I don’t see as much improvement as I did going from seventeen to eighteen. I mean obviously, I went from line art and unrealistic colors to a painterly style and more realism, that’s a significant noticeable change. But that’s okay because it means I’m growing into my style and work, I may not notice immediate progress but it’s there. I can’t say I had much, or any, fun making this piece but I’m glad I didn’t drop this tradition only three years into it.
At twenty, (that’s weird to write, at the time of writing this I’m still nineteen but will be twenty when this posts) my art is already very different than when I was eighteen-nineteen. I’ve accepted my disinterest in digital art, going back to my roots as a traditional artist. In 2020, when I did bother to draw outside of an art class, I only did pencil sketches. All random things copied from Pinterest, nothing original or remarkable. That was all quickly abandoned when I got my first drawing tablet that Christmas, a Gaomon PD1560. And now, going back to traditional art is such a weird development, I never thought I’d stop doing digital art. I have a folder from 2021 that has over five hundred pieces in it, all just from that year alone. (R.I.P my hand, surprised it still works four years later.) For this year’s drawing, I had no ideas again, but not in a bad way this time. I knew I wanted to draw a chair, something a bit more dynamic this time though- something with a little movement. Beyond that I wasn’t too sure what I was going to do, in all honesty I had forgotten about my annual birthday drawing this year. I forgot it was almost my birthday too. I started this piece July fifteenth, with only two weeks to make something, I knew it couldn’t be too big or dramatic. Most of my pieces take anywhere from a week to two months so I wanted to play it a little safe. But this year’s piece ended up being my absolute favorite, I think it shows a lot of improvement as well. And who knows maybe I’ll be taking up oil painting next year, I’m becoming more open to changing my style and medium
