Within the last week or so, it seems like a ridiculous amount of really crazy things have happened. I made it to the half way mark of my SECOND student teaching placement, I began testing to obtain my teaching certification, I spent a day walking through galleries as an artist who had pieces on display, and I currently have my cap and gown in my possession. Each of these moments have been more surreal than the one that came before. Getting this far in my student teaching blows my mind, but then I look at my college cap and gown with a tassel that reads the very year we are in. Once I step away from one of the most important pieces of clothing I will ever wear, I remember my senior show, happening just a few days prior to this very moment. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes as I think about it. It was such a beautiful day filled with so much accomplishment and support.
The events happening in my life are all equal parts exciting and completely terrifying. I speak of them fondly but, to be honest, I am not one for change. I remember my freshman year of college; walking on a foreign campus, map in hand, stumbling to find a seat towards the back of the room of my very first class. It seems like a life time ago that I couldn’t effortlessly direct someone to where ever they may need to go. Now as I near my time to take my last steps on Marywood’s campus as a student, and I get ready to pass the blogger torch to another hopeful, future art educator, I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t completely petrified of what is to come. I have built a home for myself at this stage of my life, and it is all about to change. There’s that word again. It seems, somehow, that I can’t escape it; no matter where I try to hide or how far I wish to run. It will always follow, with the fear of the unknown at the forefront but the promise for greater things close behind. I will cry, I can promise you that. I will be jittery and nervous…all the while having a smile on my face. I did it. Four years ago I thought I was too shy, too introverted, or too uncomfortable in my own skin to go to college and make something of myself. Well guess what… talking to you today I can proudly say I am more confident in myself than I have ever been, I have a tight group of people in my life who I care about very much and have done nothing but support me, and I am about to gain my title as Art Educator (and I never thought I would make it through student teaching!).
Needless to say, we all experience that moment where we feel so burnt out that we want to quit right then and there. But before throwing up that white flag, remember how far you have come and how much you have changed. See? That word might not be so scary after all. Yes, I have changed, and I will continue to change; except now I will embrace it. Four years ago I thought I would never be who I am today, so who knows? Maybe four years from now a few more dreams will come true for me.
