Why SpongeBob Needs to Go

SpongeBob SquarePants sucks.

(Editor’s Note: This blog post represents one set of beliefs. We invite you to read the whole post first, before forming your opinions and adding your thoughts to the comments section below.)

This once wonderful show has been running for the past 26 years. Since its creation, SpongeBob has been a misunderstood marvel. Its witty humor and surprisingly entertaining writing have been dumbed down to idiotic and outright unwatchable slop. Similarly to many shows that have continued past their expiration date, SpongeBob has fallen from grace. A recent addition to this series has baffled me. That being the upcoming film: The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants. And this is not because of the actual quality of the film, but rather the decisions being made by the creators behind it.

Despite the poor writing and animation decisions within current episodes, outside content like movies and games tend to hold up a little stronger. And although inappropriate jokes may be made, they don’t tend to go horrifically over the line.

And this is where the issue rises.

“SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Ok” is a horrific string of words that has absolutely destroyed my mind. Plenty of amazing songs have been used for SpongeBob before. This is not one of them. “Sweet Victory,” “Goofy Goober Rock,” “Stadium Rave”… these are really awesome songs that are iconic to the series. The fact that “Big Guy” is a poorly made song isn’t the biggest issue. Rather it’s the person behind it. Ice Spice.

Ice Spice is notoriously known for her inappropriate lyrics and imagery. Which is fine in the appropriate adult contexts. But once introduced to a child friendly environment, this is inappropriate. Ice Spice may not say anything sexual in the song, but her brand as a hold carries a reputation that doesn’t deserve any sort of association with something like SpongeBob. Children can look up Ice Spice and be introduced to her unsuitable behavior. Other celebrities who have been featured on Nickelodeon are typically child friendly. If not, they tend to only turn to adult/more serious content after years of child-friendly content (example: John Cena working as a kid-friendly entertainer for years, but now he plays the Peacemaker).

David Hasselhoff appears in the “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.” Although he could possibly be seen as a “sexual figure” due to his appearances in films like “Baywatch,” I have two points against that. Number one, David Hasselhoff’s appearance is an overt joke. Ice Spice’s appearance is completely serious. Number two, David Hasselhoff isn’t necessarily sexual – he’s just shirtless. Ice Spice on the other hand is overtly sexual in her content, lyrically, and in how she physically appears. Overall, how she gained notoriety marks her as a figure that does not belong in a children’s movie.

Now this is all somewhat unserious. I’m aware that the importance of this is quite small… But I’d like to mark how this coincides with the continuous downfall of SpongeBob’s quality.

I think it’s also important to note that children are having adult concepts pushed on them much younger. It’s strange that I see kids as young as 8 or so already doing full faces of makeup, being obsessed with romantic relationships, dressing provocatively, dyeing their hair, and overall speaking like adults. I think it’s important to preserve childhoods and steer them away from this kind of content. I know the phrase “think of the children!” is extremely annoying and overused but, a line needs to be drawn eventually where children ARE negatively being affected by the content they see every day on social media and in films.